"Thirdly and finally", he said, "I wish to make an ANNOUNCEMENT". He spoke the last word so loudly and suddenly that everyone sat up who still could. "I regret to announce that - though, as I said, eleventy-one years is far too short a time to spend among you - this is the END. I am going. I am leaving NOW. GOOD-BYE!"

- Bilbo Baggins, 'A Long-Expected Party', The Lord of the Rings.

Breaking news

Monday, April 26, 2004 (03:19 a.m.)

In a surprising turn, it is discovered that it is *MY HAIR* that is the reincarnation of Oscar Wilde, and is now committed in an affair with my haircomb, which naturally turned out to be Bosie.

Don't ask.

In other news, Oscar Wilde? IS FLAMINGLY GAY KTHXBAI. [/ends obscure reference to conversation with colleague who insists that it's all just rumours and hearsay - "you know, some people say he was gay." ".... HE WAS GAY!"]

C'mon people, it's a universal truth, like the rotation of the sun and Sir Ian McKellan's sexuality.

...Oh, I just know one day I'll get into a futile argument about George Michael and Boy George...

Morning Musings

Wednesday, April 21, 2004 (05:49 a.m.)

It's funny how, for someone who hungers life so much, that I spend so much time in front of the computer. But honestly, I feel like I want to be and do everything. One lifetime will never be enough. It'll be great if I was a Pretender, like Jarod, but I'm not, so...

I have decided that claiming myself to be the reincarnation of Oscar Wilde to be the most suitable explanation for myself. Yes, it goes a long way to explain my dilettante tendencies, the snarky humour and general drama queen-ness. Also, God was sorry for all the time I spent in jail, so here I am a female, safe to perv on the many lovely males out there. Maybe when there comes a time when such things is no longer taboo, I'll be back to a guy again. Ha. ;)

Of course if anything should happen, as Yasmin may be the reincarnation of Oliver Cromwell, she'll spring me out of jail the day she topples the government. Presumably after singing an Abba song. Never mind, it's one of those annoying in-jokes that you'll never understand.

On the matter of genderbenders, Malay males are the most fascinating creatures ever. On any other race or culture, common perception dictates that if a man acts like a foppy queen, he probably is one. He doesn't need to show you the sparkly boas to let you know that he swings for the other team.

(Tangent: last week's Queer Eye - dude, how disturbingly amusing it was to watch Thom do his Latina Queen impression? And Carson? There is no such thing as 'pant'. There isn't. There's 'pants' and well, 'pants'. There's a reason WHY IT'S CALLED A *PAIR* OF PANTS! Um, phew. You may work for the Fashion Police, but obviously you failed the Grammar Police entrance exam. Aww, you know I still love you. Don't pout. Put that wire hanger away.)

But I know most well enough to take their declarations that they are "STRAIGHT!" at face value. Of course they could be so deeply in the closet, I need the SMART team to get them out, but ok yeah, you with the limp wrists? You're straight? OK, fine. No cognitive dissonance here.

The thing is, and here is the thing, Malay males pick up the mannerisms so well. There are those who, in some situations, act like regular Joes with the attendant hygiene, yet throw them into certain situations, with or without similar friends, they queen out. Seriously. Bukan mak nyah. But that phenomenon know euphemistically as 'lelaki lembut'.

The thing I desperately want to know, since mimicry is adopting traits you consider useful or appealing, what is it that makes that entire set of mannerisms attractive for your average Malay male? Let's take... my brother as an example. He's not an extreme case, but thrown into a private college whose predominant demographics isn't Malay, he's been mistaken for gay. He doesn't mind, he runs with the whole stereotype and he still bag chicks. (My brother, the closet metrosexual. You have to applaud his single-minded dedication to the fairer sex, after all he discovered the other secret to be a chick magnet - queer-fy yourself.)

And let's not talk about my beloved alma mater, UiTM. With 90% Malay, some days I think we can hold a Mardi Gras here and no one would mind. (As long as there's free food.)

So Malay men, answer the question. Stop spamming my tagboard with questions about tips for masturbating (dear god, if you need to know that, get a new brain) and answer me. Is it because y'all are all majorly repressing? Do you have Oedipal issues? Was that a big word? Ok, do you have an unhealthy fixation on your mother? Your father? Your flamingly gay 'bachelor' uncle? What?

klaxons ringing

Monday, April 19, 2004 (10:53 p.m.)

Hold on to your hats guys. Evacuation is in progress.

Achtung mate! (amendment)

Friday, April 16, 2004 (11:39 a.m.)

Listening to Jet's 'Are You Gonna Be My Girl?' on continuous repeat while perusing the photos of the Fabulous Five is a VERY GOOD THING.

I *love* Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Madly in love with it. LOVE! All of them, I can't decide. I seriously couldn't. Good thing they're gay. (And I'm here.)

Also, this is my last day of internship. Watch me type furiously, trying to finish my backlog of articles. Watch! Watch!

More than anything, it has taught me this: I seriously need to recharge my batteries often. Damn Libran tendencies. I was meant to be a dilletante. Gawdammit. I'm a bit sad. But mostly happy.

Why? Because now I can concentrate on my organ lessons and Japanese dammit!!! Fallen by the wayside because of work, they have. Poor babies.

Speaking of Japanese, I sent in my scholarship essay already. It's for the 2004 JAL Scholarship. Went myself to hand it in to the office in Jalan Ampang. And there were like, this pile of envelopes already. WARGH!! I'm not going to get it!

And not two hours later, a lady called. She wanted to know when I wrote that I'm in third year, is that my final year in uni? And I said yes. And in a hesitant tone of voice, she concluded that means the scholarship trip will take place during the final term.

"Oh, I said, "I'll be having my holidays then."

I still can't decide if the call is a good thing or a bad thing...

The things we do for our dreams. Speaking of which, GOOD LUCK AND HAVE FUN TJ!!! *mwaks*

Achtung mate!

Thursday, April 15, 2004 (02:48 p.m.)

Playing Jet's 'Are You Gonna Be My Girl' on continuous repeat is a GOOD THING.

That is all. :)

Rock is not dead!! But modern rock still sucks. *puts on her retro hat*

I wish *I* could go to the School of Rock.

My hair has purple bits in it. r0xx0rs

Monday, April 12, 2004 (12:06 a.m.)

Ok, the thing about being at the City desk? There are just so many *pointless* events that wants to be covered. Bleh. So tiring. So I'm finally online. And I live in fear of the thought of catching up (with various blogs, links, friend's lists and what-not).

But in any case, I now have purplish hair! I look like a reject from Jem and the Holograms, but it's all good.

Errmm.. updates of my life: One of my Japanese teachers went back to Japan and we did a little farewell party at one of the restaurants at the Japan Club. I only had green tea and filched some Japanese ice kacang cos not halal. Oh woe. But someone gave me their ebi tempura so it's all good. :P

But my point? Ah yes, the elusive point. Since it was necessary to speak Japanese, I did so. Badly. Grammar considerations all flew out of the window. Wah, I think it's reverse karma for all the fun I made of the Japanese and their Engrish. :D

With that in mind, why did I choose to explain to the other teacher about the Reformation and Protestant break from the Catholic Church again?

And being fangirls, one of the few important considerations Haz and I had in planning this trip to London is.... making sure we leave AFTER 'Troy' and 'King Arthur' and possibly 'Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban' opens here.

Damn you United Kingdom! Why must your movie distribution be sooooo slow?

Also, because I'd be living with her parents, my parents want to meet her parents yadda yadda, dinner or something. If I didn't know better, I'd say it's like we're getting married.

Jangan marah Jeanie honey. :D

And if this goes on, I may be the only one in the world writing Double Score fic in English. HAH.

And my LJ flist is abuzzing with about how the word 'Jew' is being googlebombed. As, like Jeanie, I've disallowed search robots to index my LJ, doing my bit there would be stupid. So here goes: Jew. Jew. Jew. Jew. Jew. Jew. Jew. And finally, Jew.

My mathematical lesson for the day

Wednesday, April 7, 2004 (05:44 p.m.)

Today I learned that I am a little too independent, blunt and has a slight problem with money - namely I indulge myself and my friends a little too much.

But apparently I'll come to inheritance, marry someone foreign, and generally see my fortunes improve as I grow older.

I'm such a girl to be taken by a free numerology reading.

waves flag. Flag reads: 'help. am being buried under a pile of work'

Friday, April 2, 2004 (03:39 p.m.)

It is with much amusement to note that I get my dose of workplace gossip from, of all places, Jeff Ooi's Screenshots. AHAHA. Tempat keja wa feymes. :)

If I see one more press release to write up I will die. Oh, here's one! *dies*

Bleh. Since I can only depend on what the release says, I have to cut through the naturally occuring hyperbole, to get itty bitty minty centre. Though I like mint.

DIE HYPERBOLE DIE!

I can't decide which is worse - the brain-numbing stupor of regurgitating press releases... or the brain-numbing frustration of being unable to come up with a good lead. Or actually coming up with a theme or a point to start with. I am aimless! Lost, precious, lost!

[/drama queen]

Got some awards to cover tonight. Jadi bidan terjun. That's great, the day I come in looking like blah.

Time to break out the Punjabi dress.

Dude, this is so not the entry I wanted to blog.

Who is more foolish? The fool, or the fool who follows it?

Thursday, April 1, 2004 (02:50 a.m.)

Late night, so excuse me if I'm paraphrasing Obi-Wan Kenobi wrongly.

Ok, I would like to take this moment to mock 8TV's promo for The OC. You know, when the narrator solemnly intones, "enter the life of Ryan," my brain goes to a funny place, where it goes instead, "enter, the Life of Brian."

Which reminds me, my Monty Python education is sadly lacking.

But never mind that. That's nothing, and completely not their fault. What gets my gander though is this:

As he leaves the town of Chino, into California...

I'm reminded of my brother, when he was seven, during dinner. He was nearly in tears because he was demanding that he wants to move out of Petaling Jaya... into Selangor. Because he heard good things about Selangor, like... I dunno.

Anyway, me and mum spent much minutes trying to convince him he can't do that because PJ *is* in Selangor.

He was like, "No! No! I don't want to be in PJ! I want to live in Selangor!!"

Obviously, Seven-Year-Old!Brother and 8TV shares the same idiocy in geography. But at least my brother WAS seven. What's 8TV's excuse?

My point: Chino *is* in California, you doofus.

Still, props for surreptitiously slipping the promo for Queer Eye for the Straight Guy during America's Next Top Model advert. That is quite smooth. I approve.

But Chino is still in California.

I'm sorry, your browser does not support web standards. It's CSS-illiterate, among other things. You can still read my blog, but damn, it's ugly. I recommend getting a new browser. (HANI wants me to say I stole this piece of code from her. Dah. I have delivered her message)

Happy Birthday

Monday, May 17, 2004 (02:32 a.m.)